Inside the Mind of Cal E. Intay

My youngest child – a 7-year old black male – asked me the other say about Trayvon Martin. He wanted to know why a “bad man” killed him. I paused, took a deep breath and prepared myself to answer the question. Nothing came out. Maybe it was the combination of being in shock that, in 2012, I still have to have a discussion like this with my son, and the mere fact that I had no real answer. At least not an answer I choose to disclose to my baby boy. But is that fair to him? Am I, by not explaining to him how little his life matters to others, depriving him of the truth? Or is it right for me to protect his innocence for as long as I possibly can? It doesn’t matter anyway, because I sadly cannot come up with an in-depth answer to why…

Black men are so “disposable”.

Quiz time:  who can name five to ten positive things they’ve learned about black men in the past twenty years that don’t involve sports or a criminal case?

I’ll wait.

Still waiting…

Ok, while you’re pondering, I’ll go on.

Black men don’t matter. They’re disposable. Many don’t value their lives, so why should anyone else value them, right? If you answered, right, you are the Biggest Loser and need to close this blog post and go hide under a rock. Really, I’m serious. Go…NOW! You scare me more than any black male (or female) ever could because YOU are a dangerous species.

Ok, now that “they’re” gone, I can continue.

The top black males that have been in the media the past year or so: Trayvon Martin (his murder, and now how it could have been justified that he was killed), Lebron James’ move to Miami (sports), Barack Obama (well, he’s President, so…duh! But being that it’s election season, there’s usually someone complaining about him), Troy Davis (executed, even though there were suspicions he was innocent), Bishop Eddie Long (no comment), and Antoine Dodson (Hide your kids, hide your wife). Of course we have a few good things like Idris Elba winning the Golden Globe, but he’s an actor (and a sexy one, but I digress), so it’s not really an exception. Rappers and actors are always in the media (not always for good things…i.e. ,Chris Brown), so they don’t count. But what about lawyers doing something great, a chemist discovering something exciting or a successful Fortune 500 business owner? Why have black males started thinking that their only hopes of being rich and successful are by picking up a ball, rapping or acting? Where did we go wrong? Sadly, though, even those with high aspirations of being something great don’t matter; after all, Trayvon hoped to be a pilot.

According to two recent studies commissioned by The Heinz Endowments and a one-day summit of experts sponsored by the University of Pittsburgh’s Office of Public Affairs this month, young black men and boys rarely appear in daily national and local American news media. But, when they do, the tendency is to present them as the focus of crime coverage, replete with mug shots and perp walks.

One of the Pittsburgh studies, “African-American Men and Boys Pittsburgh Media Audit” by Meyer Communications, reports that in a three-month period in 2010 fewer than one in 10 front-page newspaper stories featured black males; one-third of print coverage that did feature black men and boys focused on crime, while 86 percent of the television news did. Crime coverage depicting African-American men was usually presented prominently above the fold in print and led broadcasts on television news.

Pew Center research a year later found much the same imbalances in print and television news media, with blacks overemphasized in crime and sports. The Pew study also vindicated my own interpretation of news coverage — which has ignited more than one hostile response by smug opposition — that news media negatively depict African Americans without necessarily mentioning their race, relying instead on visually presenting their black visages to illustrate the scary news.

In this regard, Pew reported that on television, 97 percent of the stories involving African-American males offered visual references, including negative portrayals, without direct discussion of their ethnicity or racial identity. In print, where the number of photographs is limited, the proportion — 81 percent — was still enormous.

A few months ago, rapper Too Short made a video for XXL Magazine’s website where he jokingly instructed grade-school boys on how to sexually assault their female classmates. While this in itself is beyond comprehension, the fact that the editor of XXL Magazine is female makes it even more disturbing. Where, in anyone’s mind, would it begin to be okay to condone rape? But then again, it’s okay in this day and age to “make it rain” on a naked woman in a club and rap songs about giving a woman a “round of applause” because she can make her “ass clap” (many of you probably now singing that song in your head). We as a nation have done a very poor job of teaching values.

It’s very wrong for anyone to murder anyone, but it’s really disturbing that we are now in a day and age where blacks kill more blacks than it has been reported the KKK killed in a century. Don’t believe me? Well…

During the years from 1884 to 1900, the number of persons lynched in the United States during that period was 2,516. Of these about 66% were Negroes [using the official name at the time] and (interestingly) 33% were whites [Ray Stannard Baker, American Magazine, Following the Color Line (1908)]

Tuskegee Institute, now Tuskegee University, is recognized as the official expert that has documented lynchings from 1882 through 1968. During that period they report that there were 3,446 lynchings of African Americans and 1,297 lynchings of whites.

Before 1882, there were about 2,100 lynchings by KKK members. Assuming all those killed were African Americans we arrive at a maximum number: less than 5,600 Blacks were killed by the KKK since its founding.

Indeed, Lynching Century states that “From 1865 to 1965 more than 6,000 African-Americans died in racial violence in the United States.” That is, 6,000 Blacks killed by all sources, not just by KKK members.

It should be noted that Blacks make up 34% of those executed since 1976, so after a century we are in fact lynching executing a lower percentage of Blacks. Ah, progress.

Now how many Blacks were murdered by other Blacks? Let’s forget about the past 144 years. Let’s forget about the last decade. Let’s just take one single year. According to the FBI’s Crime Statistics for the year 2004, there were 16,137 murders in that year, of which 6,632 of the victims were Black.

The same data show that for single victim/single offender incidents of which there were 3,067 Black victims, 92.2 percent of them, or 2827, were murdered by black offenders. Extrapolating for multiple victim/single offender incidents for the remaining 3,565 Black victims gives us 3,286 Blacks killed by other Blacks. So in one single year, Blacks killed more than 6,000 other Blacks.

That’s right – in one year, Blacks have murdered more of their own than the KKK killed in a century and a half of lynchings.

I am not in ANY way condoning the lynching of even one single Black man by white racists in the past. Those years in our history were a brutal, depraved period. I merely report the numbers for perspective.

I picked the year 2004 because in that year Bill Cosby told Black parents that if they wanted to see their children succeed then they must educate their children on the many different aspects of American culture, not on “being Black” or blaming whitey for all their problems. Cosby’s statements caused an outrage, but I agree. It’s time we stop passing blame and take responsibility for our kids. We need to teach them to value themselves, to love themselves, and to love others. We need to teach them that “colors” don’t matter…we all bleed red. We need to teach them to dream big, to stand up for themselves, and to start showing the world they matter. We need to smack them upside the head discipline them and make them stop sagging their pants off their behinds…and explain to them where that “fashion statement” came from (if you don’t know, email me, and I’ll fill you in). We need to make them proud to be AMERICAN…not black, Spanish, white, etc. We are all AMERICANS. We need to teach them to respect women again and to take care of their children. We need to teach them to stop making excuses for why they can’t succeed. And we need to show the world our sons are not disposable! The solution to the problem starts at home, but it doesn’t end there. We have to stop turning the other cheek and sitting by allowing this type of bullshit inhumane activity to happen to our sons. We have to vote! We have to bug the media, our elected politicians, our friends, our family members, our teachers, our judges, entertainers, athletes…our SONS! We have to make them count in this world, because if we don’t, we can’t make anyone else begin to care. Trayvon and the thousands of other black males who have lost their lives to unnecessary violence need you to do this! Our sons still here need you to do this. This isn’t a plea to just the black race, this is a plea to mankind! Teach our children (and a lot of our adults) the value of life.

Please, I’m begging you to start. Start with your own child, a neighbor’s child, a neighbor. Just start! I’m about to take my own advice and finish that talk with my son. I don’t want him to have to live in fear of walking to the store to buy a bag of skittles and an iced tea.

 

A young black male who was a good kid is murdered while visiting a relative during a break from school. His body is identified by family members three days later. Once the story is reported by the media, thousands rally against the disgust of the crime. Intense scrutiny on the condition of black value in America is given. Although initially most people speaking on the issue decried the violence against the boy and called for justice, many soon began trying to place blame on the boy.

Sound familiar?

Unless you’ve been under a huge rock or in a deep, dark cave, you know the circumstances surrounding Trayvon Martin. This young man, armed with only an Arizona Iced Tea and a bag of Skittles, was gunned down by wannabe vigilante George Zimmerman who thought he was suspicious. However, though the story above sounds eerily like the Martin problem, it’s not. The story above is about another young black male, who at 14 was murdered for something that was no more a crime than walking home in the rain with a hoodie on your head carrying snacks. The story is from 1955 and surrounds the death of Emmett Till.

Till, who was murdered for supposedly whistling at a young, white woman brought national attention to just how disposable black men are in the United States. Till’s murder brought discussions about the severity of problems with race relations, segregation, law enforcement, relations between the North and South, the social status quo in Mississippi, the NAACP, White Citizens’ Councils, and the Cold War, all of which were played out in a drama staged in newspapers all over the U.S. and abroad. Sadly, Till’s murderers were acquitted of kidnapping and murder, but months later, protected against double jeopardy, they admitted to killing him in a magazine interview.

Being the mother of a black male, it touches me to my soul that, fifty-seven years later, Martin’s parents are having to endure the same pain as Emmett Till’s mother. But what bothers me even more is the fact that America (and the world as a whole) seems to be surprised about what’s going on. Am I disgusted and appalled? Yes. Surprised? Not even close. This type of thing has been going on way before any of us were on this earth and won’t be going away any time soon. “Minorities”, especially the males, have always been disposable.

• During the Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade, over 12 million Africans were sold into slavery. Approximately 2 out of 3 of those sold were male.

• Between 1882 and 1951, 3,446 blacks (mostly men) were lynched in the United States.

• Less than one percent of lynch mob participants were ever brought to justice.

• Despite several attempts to introduce legislature in the 1920s, 1930s and 1940s, no laws anti-lynching laws were ever passed. It took Congress 105 years to apologize for its failure to act in the 1920s when the 1^st anti-lynching law was proposed.

• Since 1976, eighteen (18) white defendants have been executed for the murder of black victims. Not bad, you think? Well…

• Since 1976, 252 black defendants have been executed for the murder of white victims.

Homicide is the #1 cause of death in young black males. Sadly, lots of this crime is black on black crime (another discussion in itself), but a lot of it isn’t. Black males also outweigh all others in the prison system and are drastically disappearing from those obtaining degrees from higher education institutions. We must stand up for our black youth, TEACH and MENTOR our youth, and LOVE our youth. It does take a village to raise a child, but sadly the people in the villages who are raising the children haven’t been taught how to properly do the job because they themselves didn’t have the role models needed. When do we stop passing blame, passing judgment and actually DOING something to help? Sadly, it seems the only time people care about minorities is when they’re in another country (for example, the KONY videos). We need to start fixing our own village before leaping to help others. How many of you have become a Big Brother/Big Sister or some other type of mentor? Small steps can eventually lead to something big, but you HAVE to take the first step. Sitting at home, shaking your head in disbelief and commenting on Facebook posts doesn’t count.

Emmett Till and all of the other young souls gone too soon have welcomed another one into their heavenly community. Mamie Carthan (Emmett’s mother) and the other mothers who have lost their children far too soon are shedding tears for Sybrina Fulton & Tracy Martin and wondering when membership into their “Parents of Children Gone Too Soon” club will decrease. Contrary to what people want you to believe, we have NOT overcome! Things are NOT any better. Instead of dogs and water hoses, we simply have laws, more police coverup and justification to why it’s ok.

A few days ago, President Obama spoke out against the Martin travesty and ended by saying “ If I had a son, he’d look Trayvon Martin.” Well I have a son who will grow up to look like Trayvon, and I refuse to sit silently and watch this continue. I have a voice and I will speak. I have a soul and I will fight. Not just for my son and Trayvon, but for all those who need it. I will teach the female youth that their worth goes deeper than dancing in a music video. I will educate males on the history of the sagging pants they so love to wear and let them know that, while America may think they’re worth less than the price of a penny; to me, they’re golden.

Will you help? Use the gifts God (or whatever higher being you acknowledge) gave you and fight for justice. Whether it’s writing, singing, rapping, drawing, providing legal counsel, mentoring, or just talking to the youth. Don’t let the Trayvon Martin case end the same way as Emmett Till’s did almost 60 years ago.

 

 

 

There was a time not long ago when I enjoyed going to Global Grind to find out the latest info on the entertainment industry and other topics that were of interest to “my generation”.  I actually posted my blogs on the site for awhile because I felt it was a great way to get my voice out to people who who share some of the same interests as me.  I’ve never been one to write about “what this person is wearing” or “who this person is dating”, but being over-opinionated, I’ve always had something to say about the stupidity of celebrities, the violence in America, and injustices people are experiencing throughout the world. Unfortunately, Global Grind doesn’t cater to those topics anymore, and it has become a site dedicated to the ridiculous.  The blogs are tasteless, the info normally unimportant, and most of it just as ridiculous as the stuff on MediaTakeOut. Recent blog titles include:

“MORNING POP! Tika Sumpter Goes Shirtless, Irina Shayk Goes Topless, Mariah Bares All (PHOTOS)”
“No More Sextin’! We Blowing Up Y’all, The Best Hip-Pop Blow-Up Dolls Ever Made (PHOTOS)”
“Coco & The Best Celeb Back Shots Of The Week (PHOTOS)”

But there’s one thing in particular that made me officially lose my love for Global Grind…

…those darn POP-UP ADVERTISEMENTS!!!

When I’m going through a website to catch up on things of interest, the last thing I want is Kevin Hart’s face popping up huge on my screen and blocking what I’m reading.  And not just once…on EVERY page you go to on the site, that damn ad pops up.  Then when you click on the “X” on the ad to close it, it takes you to the actual Ford website! You can’t escape it! So I close the ad, try to go to another page, and then realize that off to the side of the ad (and very small) is another “close ad” button. In essence, they are making sure you “click thru” instead of closing the ad so they can make sure they get the money from your clicking the ad.  Come on Russell, are times really THAT bad that you have to make money by forcing people to click an ad (or deal with Kevin Hart telling me about a car I have NO interest in buying)?

I’m trying not to totally give up on Global Grind, though.  Their “He/She Has a Name” blogs dedicated to those who have died senselessly from violence, and their “News and Politics” section still feature some articles that actually matter. Just please, GG, make a better balance of the stupidity and the newsworthy.  Does the world REALLY need 20 posts a day about asses and tits, Amber Rose, and Kim Kardashian? I can probably even force myself to sift through the senseless for the newsworthy stuff…

as long as you knock it off with the pop-ups!!!

…And if we can just stop people from stealing blogs and posting them on Global Grind without proper credit to the writer, we’ll really be getting somewhere! But that’s a blog post for a different day.

Cal E. Intay

As a mother, my biggest fear is something bad happening to one of my kids.  I honestly don’t know how I would be able to go on if they were hurt…hell I lose it when my son falls and skins his knees (and that happens on almost a daily basis). So it really saddens me when I watch the news and hear about all of the children that are missing or have been hurt.  No one, especially children, deserve to be hurt. They are innocent and should have a chance to live a full and happy life.  What’s even worse is when people know about the pain inflicted upon these children and refuse to speak up…whether out of fear or ignorance, it’s just wrong.  No parent should have to wonder what happened to their child and if they’re safe. Unfortunately, that’s not the case for the parents of Phylicia Barnes.

In case you don’t know the background, 17-year-old Phylicia, an honors students at Union Academy in Monroe, North Carolina, was last seen December 28, 2010 in Baltimore, Maryland, where she was visiting relatives. According to her half-sister, Deena Barnes, she left Phylicia sleeping in her apartment that morning around 8:45 a.m. when she left for work.  When Phylicia woke up, she began texting Deena and her other half-sister, Kelly, and they discussed plans for the rest of the day. Kelly last heard from Phylicia around 11:08 a.m. and Deena’s final contact was at 12:23 p.m. After that, it was as if Phylicia just vanished into thin air.

Deena’s ex-boyfriend was the last known person to see Phylicia. He sent a text to Deena a little after 1 p.m. saying he noticed Phylicia’s phone ringing and told Deena that Phylicia was asleep. When Deena arrived home at 6 p.m. and realized Phylicia wasn’t home, she began to panic and began calling family members.  She couldn’t reach her ex-boyfriend until after 7 p.m. He said he’d left Phylicia sleeping at 1:30 p.m.

The ex-boyfriend has been interviewed by police several times, as have more than 25 other “persons of interest”, but none have been charged. The ex-boyfriend has, however, hired an attorney.

More than 100 detectives, including half of the Baltimore police’s homicide unit, Maryland State Police, and the FBI, have been assigned to the case.  Though it didn’t get much coverage at first, media coverage has increased, and Phylicia’s story has been featured on The Today Show, Good Morning America, and other major outlets.  But it’s been three months and the police are no closer to solving the case than they were on day 1.

Police, however, are preparing for another large-scale search for the teen, and Baltimore police spokesman Anthony Guglielmi said authorities will soon search an area that they have investigated before.

“We wanted to dig deeper earlier, but the weather got in the way.” Guglielmi stated, adding that he will reveal the area closer to the day of the actual search. With no real clues, it leads me to wonder…

Where is Phylicia Barnes?

Someone…and I’m sure more than one person…knows the answer to that question. And it’s time for that person to speak up.  We already know they can’t possibly have a conscious, so there’s no guilt-tripping them into talking.  We also know that Phylicia didn’t just run away, and she didn’t disappear into thin air, so she’s SOMEWHERE.  Her family needs to know where. I truly pray that Phylicia is alive, but if she is, she has to be terrified.  She deserves to be back home with her family and those who love her, and her family deserves to have her back home.

So parents, squeeze your children a little tighter tonight before they go to bed and thank whatever Higher Being you believe in for their health and safety.  No matter how crazy they’re driving you, always be thankful that they’re safe and able to drive you crazy. No one is promised tomorrow…especially in this crazy world we live in. I’m sure Phylicia’s parents, and the parents of all the other missing children in the world would love to have their kids home to drive them crazy.  Don’t take it for granted.

 

Cal E. Intay

 

If you have ANY information on the disappearance of Phylicia Barnes, PLEASE contact the Baltimore tip line at 855-223-0033.  Also, please go to the “Pray for Phylicia Barnes” Facebook page and post your support.

 

 

 

Some of you reading this may be old enough to remember 1996 when UPN, also known as “U People’s Network) put one of the most horrific shows of all time on tv…”Homeboys in Outer Space”.  Those of you who aren’t old enough to remember, or who are lucky enough to have blocked that era out of your head, don’t worry…it’s for the better. The story centered around two astronauts who flew around the universe in a winged car in the 23rd century. The duo’s car, which was a cross between a lowrider and an 18 wheeler, was piloted by a talking female computer named Loquatia.

The show was like a combination of Star Trek meets Amos ‘n Andy.  It was a total embarrassment to African Americans and was cancelled after the 1st season (which was one season too long). As the 90s exited and Y2K came in, I was really hoping that television was improving in its portrayal of “us”.  There were more professional minorities (not just  African-Americans) showing up on popular shows, and gone were the days where shows were so bad they were almost equivalent to black face.

Then came 2006.

When UPN was showing “Homeboys in Outer Space”, VH-1, the sister channel to the much more popular MTV, wasn’t even playing ethnic videos (unless you count Michael Jackson, and well…nevermind). The only color you were seeing on VH-1 in the 90′s were the extensions in Boy George’s hair.  Over the years (after “Pop Up Video”), VH-1 started sprinkling a little more color here and there, but we still weren’t “the norm”.  But that all changed a few years ago…and not for the better.

I truly believe that 5 years ago, the people in charge of VH-1 had a big meeting and concocted the biggest plan in tv history to single handedly make African-Americans look like the biggest idiots on the planets.  And of course, some of us are so caught up with the need to be famous, that they actually go along with this modern day coonery and tomfoolery. It’s gotten to the point where I can no longer keep my big mouth shut about it.

In 2006 (exactly 10 years after UPN’s “Homeboys”), VH-1 decided it was time to make a rapper find love.  Did they go after Jay-Z, Common, or any other well-spoken rapper? Nope.  The execs at VH-1 thought it would be a great idea to have none other than Flavor Flav search for love. And to make things even more interesting, they had Flav pick from a selection of the most ghetto, dumb and downright crazy females. The girls had names ranging from Hoopz, Goldie, Hottie, Smilie, and Serious.  It was like the Seven Dwarfs meet the Player’s Club. These girls showed the worst of the worst of not only African-American, but ALL races.  It was a total embarrassment…and a huge hit for VH-1, with the season 1 finale bringing in 3.5 million viewers.  I was totally confused at how a show that degraded women, made us look stupid and had not one bit of intelligent dialogue could actually be that popular.  Who was watching this crap? But after checking out Myspace messages and Facebook posts, it became apparent that African American females seemed to be at the top of the list of viewers. I honestly was appalled.

Of course Flav didn’t find lasting love in Season 1, so this “special” show, was picked up for 2 more seasons, and launched several spin-offs, including I love New York, Charm School, and I Love Money.  Then VH-1 thought it would be brilliant to bring another male that wasn’t doing much for the African-American race into the mix and have Ray-J look for love.  We ALL know Ray-J wasn’t quite looking for love…maybe just another chick to do another porn movie with to boost his popularity again.  But of course, that show took off too, and it was followed by such “greats” as the “Real and Chance” shows, “The Ultimate Catch” with Ochocinco and the TO Show.  Now, I have to take a moment to say that it’s not just African-Americans that are being embarrassed by VH-1…most of the shows I listed had their “pop/rock” counterparts that made the people on them look just as bad.  There was “Rock of Love”, “Daisy of Love”, “Charm School with Ricki Lake” and more.  One thing I can say about VH-1…they don’t discriminate in their efforts to make women look bad. The final straw with me, however, came with “Basketball Wives”.

The name of the show alone confuses the hell out of me.  Only ONE of the people on the show is actually MARRIED to a current NBA player, and several have NEVER been married to one at all. They are scorned ex-wives and baby mamas lead by none other than Shaq’s ex-wife Shaunie O’Neal to look as stupid and ridiculous as possible for the cameras.  These women are constantly cursing, fighting, neck rolling, finger pointing and Bankhead Bouncing (thanks to Royce). It really seems like they’re told to act as stereotypical as possible whenever the cameras are rolling just so we can make minority women look REALLY bad (at least I’m HOPING it’s just for the cameras…if these chicks act that trifling when the cameras are off, they really need to get some help).  Every possible thing you’ve heard stereotypically about minority women has been relayed in at least one episode of “Basketball Wives” (including a discussion about food stamps). If you ever want to see how the world thinks of African-American and Hispanic women, you should watch an episode of the show. It’s a total embarrassment to females everywhere.

I think it would be a LITTLE better if VH-1 balanced their collection of coonery with some shows that show an intelligent side of minorities (and no, the VH-1 Hip Hop Honors is not tipping the scales on the intelligent side). What about a show about Geoffrey Canada and the kids from the Harlem Children’s Zone, or a show about Angela Bassett and Courtney Vance or Denzel and his wife that shows how love can last and be positive in the entertainment industry and beyond? Something, ANYTHING, VH-1, that shows you’re not out to make us all look like fools! A little insane dramedy is good for the soul (we all need a good laugh, and I do have to admit that I watch the Housewives of Atlanta, but hey, at least that show does show SOME positive things about African-American women), but we have to remember that BOTH sides need to be seen. Otherwise, we have a world who thinks that may just be going back to blackfaced characters travelling to outer space in an Escalade on 28″ rims, looking for a neck-rolling, finger snapping, nba baby mama/groupie to become queen of the universe…where she’ll require all females to have a name ending in “Nay-Nay”. And we don’t want that to happen…

 

do we????

 

Cal E. Intay

This morning I saw a guy jogging in my neighborhood.  From the back he looked pretty appealing, so I decided to turn around and take a look at the front.  What I saw almost made me wreck my car.  This GROWN ass man was walking one of the smallest dogs I have ever seen! It was like an extra mini pincher or 4-legged bird. I’ve seen Florida armadillos and New York rats bigger than that thing! This man was walking along with no care in the world. I mean, I understand being secure in your manhood and all, but when did it become okay for grown men to walk around with little dogs?

I remember a day when men and women alike would “wonder” about grown men walking around with little dogs. It was NOT something that was the norm. Little dogs were called “girly dogs” and any grown man walking around with one was talked about until he ran home with his tail tucked between his leg (which was about all people suspected them of having between their legs). Now men ranging from celebrities to boyz in the hood are walking around with little dogs, and it leads me to wonder why.

A little dog can’t protect your home, can’t really play fetch with a ball (or at least a big ball), can’t give an intimidating bark or growl to warn someone to back off or even hop on the bed without a ramp to help them.  So what the heck are these guys doing with these little dogs…babbling in baby talk and cuddling up with the dog and a leopard print snuggie while watching Sex in the City 2? I’m sorry, but grown men having little dogs just isn’t right! Men take note: if your dog is small enough to be scooped up by a hawk or swallowed by a snake in one gulp…your dog is two damned small! Get a REAL dog! If you want a small dog, try an English Bulldog. At least they look burly and tough when they walk!

I really hope this craze ends soon.  It’s not a good look.  Any man with a teeny dog loses major points with me. There is NO sexiness in that! Maybe we should blame it on Cam’ron and the “whole real men wear pink” phenomenon (that wasn’t sexy either…a grown man draped in all pink is NOT a good look).  What next, men driving around in baby pink VW Bugs or the Dallas Cowboys changing their colors to pink and gray (well, Cam’ron DID get a pink Range Rover)? This madness must stop, and it must stop NOW!

Lesson for today: Men, 40 is not the new 20, and little dogs are NOT sexy. If you can carry the dog in your pocket or “man-bag” (which is a topic for a whole other blog), the dog is too small. For a list of acceptable dogs, Google “medium and large breed dogs”.  Oh, and if I see you out with a little dog, I will have my kids’ bunny rabbit kick its butt!

Cal E. Intay

It’s been a long time, I shouldn’t have left you…without a dope blog to read thru.  Ok, now that I’ve gotten my rap career off to a good start, back to the subject at hand.  I had actually put my blog career on hold, but there has been so much stupidity going on lately that I think the world was just BEGGING me to come back with my two-cents. So to start, I’ll pick the subject of…Chris Brown.

Of course, the entire world has heard about Chris’ temper tantrum yesterday when he stormed into the dressing room at Good Morning America, destroyed property and “alledgedly” threw a chair that broke a window. Then to make matters worse, the idiot entertainer…proceeds to take off his shirt and storm through the street. If his tattoos were green I would have thought he was auditioning for the new Incredible Hulk Movie, “The Hulk after Gastric Bypass”.  Blogs, Twitter, Facebook and everything else have been ablaze with discussions on whether Chris was right or wrong and whether he’s a victim of society that just won’t let him move pass the events 2 years ago.  Well in my opinion (and you know I have one…and I’m always right), Chris Brown is a victim of….

Himself!

Chris had FINALLY gotten to a point where the world (or at least most of it) was ready to start focusing on his career again and not the dreaded “Ri-Ri incident”. The judge had allowed the restraining order lifted and commended Chris on his current state of mind.  His single “Look at Me Now” is one of the best singles out on the radio right now, and he was beginning to get more public appearances and love from female and male fans alike.  So you would think someone in his position would be able to get through a few VERY general questions about the “incident” and move on. But instead, Chris gets defensive, starts talking about “Forgiving his Enemies” and then proceeds to show that he HASN’T gotten control of his aggressiveness and that maybe, just maybe, people shouldn’t have believed he was sincere about learning from his past actions.

Note to Chris: If someone burns their hand on a hot stove, tells people they learned from it, and later puts their OTHER hand on the hot stove…they didn’t really learn their lesson!

I have been a supporter of Chris for a long time. I didn’t really believe the world got the whole story about what happened the night of the “incident”, and I rooted for him to finish his court-given duties so he could move on with his life.  I constantly told people that he was young, had some anger issues that he hopefully would get under control, and that people should not judge him as an artist because of what happened in his personal life.  But there comes a time when people need to accept responsibilities for their actions and act accordingly.  Chris, unfortunately, hasn’t learned that lesson.

The “incident” happened, and for the next few years, it will still be a topic of discussion.  Chris Brown needs to learn to suck it up, get a great publicist (I’m taking new clients, by the way) and learn to PROPERLY answer the question and move on.  No more playing the victim…no more expecting the world to treat you a certain way because “they don’t mind Charlie Sheen doing stuff” (he’s been fired, by the way, Chris).  Put on your big boy boxers, smile for the camera and DEAL WITH IT!!! No more tantrums, no more Hulk auditions, no more TROUBLE.  You’re an adult now…ACT LIKE IT!

So, there you have it.  Chris Brown is NOT a victim! He is a grown man who needs to learn how to act like one…at least if he expects to continue on the career path he’s chosen.  If all else fails, maybe he should start training for the WWE or ice hockey. At least then people won’t be upset when he starts throwing chairs or swinging sticks…..

Keeping the web ablaze…

Cal E. Intay

Picture this: It’s 2009 and you are a legalized slave in America. You are looked down upon by other classes as being less than human. Having a family is not always possible, because at any moment, there’s a fear that your child can be taken away. In order to celebrate the union of marriage, you are forced to jump a broom because you aren’t legally allowed to marry. Your masters expect you to work, but refuse to give you the same benefits as someone of their class. You can’t venture out at night (or even during the day in some places) because of the possibility that you will be beaten or even killed just for being what God made you. And for the lucky few who can…their solution to the problem is to pose as a member of the superior society in hopes of never being found out, so they can have some sort of chance at a happy and normal life. Sounds like the plight of African Americans, right? Wrong.

This is the current struggle of gay and lesbians all across the United States.

In 2009, we as African Americans have at least SOME sort of laws protecting us from the extremes we suffered during slavery. But there are very few, if any laws protecting the rights of gays and lesbians. I am not gay, so I can’t say I understand from experience how it feels to live as a non-heterosexual in the U.S., nor do I deem myself as being CLOSE to an expert in their fight for civil rights. But I have seen and heard the struggles from people I know, as well as some I don’t, and what bothers me most is how African Americans…especially “CHRISTIAN” African Americans, can be so cruel and discriminating against a society of beings. With the struggles that our ancestors went through, as well as the day to day struggles we still have to endure, how can we carry so much bias?

It saddens me to see what the world is evolving into. We are breeding a society of hate. We teach children not to like others who are not like us. We teach kids to discriminate based on the colors they wear, the neighborhood they live in, the friends they have, the money their parent’s have, the lifestyle they choose to lead, the way they speak, etc. We FORCE kids to hate one another. But at the same time we can’t figure out why our lives are so bad. It’s actually all simple…negativity breeds negativity. If society if putting only negativity out in the world…that’s all they will get back.

I still get an amazed look on my face when I hear “Christians” berate homosexuals. The most common phrase is “God didn’t make them gay, and they’re going to hell.” To that I say…if they are going, they will definitely see you there. A question to my fellow heterosexuals: when you were out at the restaurant the other day and that cute guy/girl (depending on your sex) walked past and caused you to do a double take…did you at ANY time have to say “I’m about to force myself to be straight and look at this person. It’s my choice to be straight. God didn’t make me straight, and I have to live my life every day forcing myself to be straight?” No? Then why in the hell do you think gays and lesbians do that? Why would you even remotely think that someone would put themselves in a position to have no laws in their favor, and to become an open target for all the hate they have to endure. People…WAKE UP!! (said in my Laurence Fishburne “School Daze” voice). Life is too short to go through life spending all your time judging people. I’m sure everyone is doing SOMETHING in their lives that someone would consider as a one-way ticket to hell. NONE of us are living a perfect life…spend more time judging yourself and not how others tend to live. Our breeding of hatred is causing us to lose our youth. It’s time to take responsibility for the damage we’ve caused and work to fix the solution instead of causing more damage.

IPlease take a moment to think about how the hatred you breed can cause the death of you or someone you love. There’s always someone out there hating someone else…learn to stop this cycle or one day I may be posting a blog about someone YOU love. It shouldn’t have to take your child not making it home from school, the movies, etc for you to wake up. Let’s get it together people!!

 

Keeping it hott…

Cal E. Intay

 

 

Whitney Houston’s recent interview on Oprah has caused quite a stir. People (mostly females) are running to side with Whitney and giving her praises for coming forth on the abusive ways of former hubby Bobby Brown. Others, however, are siding with Bobby, saying that Whitney used Bobby as a scapegoat. Me….

I think they’re both on some B.S. (and no, that’s not a new form of drug).

I tivo’ed the interview so I could watch it more than once. I wanted to not only hear what Whitney was saying, but see her mannerisms, too. I have several major problems with things she said in the interview and can’t see why no one else had the same problems with things as I did (even though I’m known for thinking outside the box). But come on…I CAN’T be that different from everyone else…can I?

My first problem with Whitney is that she took her child to rehab…WTH?!?! I understand wanting to be near your child, but REHAB??? As a mother, I was appalled at the thought of her daughter in a place surrounded by drug addicts 24 hours a day (wait, I guess that wasn’t much different from home life).  And how can you put your focus on getting better when you also have to concentrate on taking care of your child? I’m guessing that’s one of the reasons rehab didn’t work for her. Come on people…if you’re as drugged out as Whitney Houston, we all know you need a lot more than a family vacation home rehab setup.

My next problem was with her alledged drug use. Whitney said she really started using drugs after The Bodyguard, but in her 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer,  she alluded to using drugs way before then. And come on, we know that Bobby didn’t force Whitney down on the bed and make her snort. Whitney failed to take a lot of the responsibility of what has happened in her life, and tended to deflect her issues to Bobby. But Whitney is a grown woman! She knew EXACTLY what she was doing, and continued until she finally got up enough strength and sense to leave. Whitney wasn’t an angel BEFORE she met Bobby…I will not believe for one second that he corrupted her. They were they “Dynamic Drug Duo” and I don’t think you can blame either for the actions of the other.

We interrupt this blog for an important Public Service Announcement: Rock cocaine is CRACK!!! I don’t care how much money you make, who you buy it from, and how much you paid. If it’s a rock…it’s crack. Please stop denying that and move on. It may be whack, but crack is still crack. Ok, now back to our regularly scheduled blog…

There were several other problems I had with Whitney’s interview, but a lot of the remaining issues were with Oprah. I felt like Oprah was too consoling. Don’t try to “Woo Woo Woo” Whitney’s problems away. When she said she took her child to rehab, Oprah’s first response should have been, “Are you serious? What the heck is wrong with you?” And the whole “You were thinking that? I was thinking that too” segment made me want to gag, but what I really feel Oprah should have done was get Whitney to admit that SHE and SHE ALONE is responsible for the hell her life went through. Bobby was locked up enough that Whitney had plenty of time to leave, kick the habit, etc. If she would have gone to a real rehab the first time Bobby did a few months in jail, she wouldn’t have had to deal with spray painted eyes stalking her in her bedroom. And when Bobby was in jail, was he calling her collect and telling her she better lace her weed with crack and smoke it? Nope! I refuse to do join the “I pity Whitney cause Bobby did her wrong”  campaign.  No one forced Whitney to be a crackhead but Whitney.

But….

Bobby Brown is a basket case in his own right. Recently I was talking to a friend about New Edition and we were discussing who we had a crush on out of the group. She said Ralph. Mine was Michael Bivens, mainly because I like bad boys and he was as bad as they came in New Edition, lol. She asked if I liked bad boys, why didn’t I have the crush on Bobby Brown? I told her…I like them bad, not CRAZY! Even back then I knew Bobby was a few fries short of a Happy Meal. Nothing has changed.

Bobby came back with his own interview in response to Whitney’s Oprah sit down. In it he said he turned to drugs and alcohol because his marriage was boring (hmmm…crack or a divorce…I know it’s supposed to be forever, but there has GOT to be an unspoken rule that you’re allowed to leave a marriage before it makes you become a crackhead). I believe that like I believe clouds are cotton candy. In his autobiography, Bobby said he turned to drugs and hard liquor because of his breakup with Janet Jackson. Which is it Bobby?

In his 2002 interview with Diane Sawyer, Bobby lied and said he had NEVER used anything stronger than marijuana (not that anyone believed him). I have to give him kudos now for at least being able to admit he’s addicted to cocaine. I’m not sure if coke has ever been prescribed for bipolar disorder, but I’m pretty sure Bobby can find something legal that will help him a lot more. He said the substance that tested positive as cocaine years ago was a “cocaine-like substance” and could have been anything…aspirin, Valium, etc. It could have been, but it wasn’t. It was simply crack.

I hope Bobbi Kristina is strong enough to not follow the destructive path of her parents. Between her cheating, drug addicted, bipolar father and a drug addicted mother who’s in denial…she has a long way to go. It’s sad that neither of them could see how traumatic their actions were for their daughter, but you don’t need a license to have kids.

Personally I’d like to see them all on an episode of Dr. Phil…at least that will hold my attention more than the Oprah interview.

Til next time…

 

 

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I have always said that the world would be a much better place if people were convicted for stupidity, and I guess the courts decided to start with Plaxico. If you didn’t already know, Burress was sentenced to two years today for shooting himself in the thigh at a nightclub back in November 2008. I have voiced on several occasions how stupid he was for carrying this gun into the nightclub, but I don’t totally blame him for the incident.

It has been reported that the nightclub security knew he had the gun and let him in anyway. His friends knew he had the gun and had no problem with the fact they were going into a club with him with the gun simply tucked into his waistband (in a crowded club…wow), yet no one bothered to tell him not to do it. Now don’t get me wrong, I think the final blame on him shooting himself in the leg goes to Plaxico himself, because he is old enough to take responsibility for his own actions, and a lot worse could have been done if that bullet had traveled in a different direction. But two years for shooting himself in the thigh is a long time. It seems like he was sentenced for stupidity…he was stupid for carrying the gun in the club, stupid for shooting himself in the thigh, stupid for risking his career over nonsense, stupid for risking not being there for his son (and now soon to be daughter)….need I go on?

Plaxico has two years to think about how stupid his actions were. Two years to see how much he has lost. Two years, to visit with his children for short periods of time (if at all). Two years to think about how he will tell his children that he was an idiot and went to prison for something that could have definitely been avoided. People try to justify his actions by saying “he felt like he needed the gun for his safety.” If that was the case, he shouldn’t have gone to the club in the first place. I feel sorry for his children, but I don’t feel a lot of compassion for Plaxico.

This wasn’t the first run-in with legal problems for Burress, and sad to say, unless he really uses these two years to think about his stupidity, they probably won’t be his last. He really needs to reflect upon his actions and wake up. He is currently suspended by the NFL, but the league said he will be reinstated after he completes his prison sentence. He’s guaranteed a job (which is not the norm for felons) and I hope he realizes the advantage this gives him.

I also hope the two year sentence causes him to reflect on the fact that he doesn’t want to go back to prison, and that fights with your wife that result in her filing temporary restraining orders is definitely a way to go back there. Personally I feel like time should have been given for the assaults on his wife more so than the thigh shooting…but that’s for another blog. 

With time off for good behavior, Burress likely will serve 20 months. He could be released from prison as early as the spring of 2011 and will be monitored an additional two years after he is freed. Burress hired a consultant to teach him how to use his time in prison productively, I hope he also hires someone to teach him how to act right once he gets out.